A whole brew level

The retired naval engineer has thanked a charity, supported by players of People’s Postcode Lottery, for helping him find his smile again after the loss of his beloved wife Christine.

Widower Ian, 84, has become a regular at the tea parties and local get-togethers run by the charity Re-engage near his home in Aberdeenshire.

He signed up after his daughter, Beth, became a volunteer and urged him to come along to help meet new people. Five years on, the grandfather of three hasn’t looked back and is urging others to find their local group and just give it a go.

Ian was left devastated when Christine died following a brain tumour just before Christmas in 2012. She was 68. The couple met in the late 1960s and had been married for 45 years, sharing two children, Beth and Craig.

Ian said: “When my wife died, I had to have a routine and things to do or I wouldn't have got through the day. And it takes such a long time to get yourself back together again.”

At the time, the couple had been living in Southampton but Ian then moved north to Scotland to be closer to daughter Beth and her family. He bought a house just around the corner from them in the village of St Cyrus.

Beth said: “Mum and Dad did everything together. Haircuts were at the same time. Dentists at the same time. They did the shopping together. It was always the two of them. But when Dad moved to Scotland, he didn’t really know anyone and he wasn’t really involved in anything apart from with me. I wanted to do something to help and that’s when I found out about Re-engage.”

Beth saw a request on social media from the charity’s local organiser looking for help with their monthly tea party events. She decided to volunteer as a host and encouraged Ian to come.

Ian said: “I didn’t know what to expect but they were a nice bunch. I enjoyed chatting to people, finding out what they’d done in their lives and then I just kept going. It’s good to get out and about and when we meet up the conversations are really varied – though I have to admit the weather does come up a fair bit.”

Ian is one of thousands benefitting from Re-engage’s work. Its mission is to reduce isolation by bringing older people together – at a time when often their social circles are diminishing. It does this through tea party groups, social events and companionship calls across England, Wales and Scotland.

Postcode Lottery players have so far raised £3.6million to support their work. For some, the charity-organised get-togethers can often be their only contact with others and in small communities it provides a vital service.

Beth said: “Our village is reasonably rural so if somebody doesn’t drive or have transport or has difficulties getting to the bus stop, it is hard to get anywhere. It means you might not see anyone from one week to the next. That’s where the charity helps.”

Re-engage has a group of dedicated volunteer drivers who pick up those joining in and take them home, so no-one is left out. “It makes such a difference to people,” said Beth. “It stops a lot of isolation and takes the pressure off, knowing you are going to be picked up, looked after and delivered home safely having had a nice afternoon. And for volunteers, too, it is a lovely thing to do. I enjoy hosting and would heartily recommend it.”

Ian agreed: “It’s been so nice to meet new people. And what I would say to anyone who hasn’t been before is don’t worry about coming alone and not knowing anyone. It might seem scary. But you won’t be walking into a room on your own.

“The drivers are great. They come and get you and somebody will always be there expecting you and welcoming you and keeping conversations going. And on the days when you might feel it’s a bit of an effort to go, when you get there, it just chirps you up.” Ian hopes more people across the country will consider getting involved.

“The men are probably outnumbered 3:1 in our group, so we could do with a few more coming along!” he joked. “But yes, it’s a good thing to have in the local community. And the organisers do a great job. They don’t get enough credit for all they do and are the ones that make it all happen. So, it’s a real thank you to them.”

Kitty Blackwell, director of fundraising and communications at Re-engage said: “Since 2016, players of People’s Postcode Lottery have raised £3.6 million to support our work. Their generosity has enabled us to introduce new services and bolster existing ones, and we are so grateful for all they are doing to help us end loneliness and isolation among older people.”